Valentyna Holloway

Read me

I can feel when You read what I write.
My breath holds for a beat.
My heart becomes swollen with love for You.
My hips become tense.
My spine unloosens.
I can feel You, and I think of You.
Communicating through silence,
that You will smile when You read this.
Like the way my body throbs for You.
You exhale and I inhale, like an
inevitable fissure. On repeat.
The weight of silence between us
causing my ears to ring ~ do You
feel it too?
The things I want to say, but I never
communicate. The things I am so
cryptic about I think only You might
be able to figure them out ~ or
remember. I do too.
I remember the little things, and I
sigh, I imagine You reaching for that
sigh like reaching for a cat. Letting
it curl in Your lap. Stroking it until
it relaxes ~ and I do too.
The way You unfold Your arms, the
way Your body moves, the way You
shift in Your seat at times. My
writing so intense that it causes
tremors to run through You.
Intense, pulsing, throbbing ~
I feel it too. I whisper a wish
I am too frightened to say even
between my words. As the syllables
leave my mouth all I can fathom
is Your mouth on mine, intent,
passionate, burning, sparking that
inferno that rises to crescendo ~
You feel it too. And I wonder if
all we have left in this moment is
the hushed sadness leaving my
lips that I crave You, right now.
Yet I know when I close my eyes
You will be there. And I will be there
for You. Language will turn us inside
out, language will be lost in our embraces,
languages of tongues replacing them for
our arcane history will seep through and
pulse through words until all I can form
is Your name. Nothing else will make sense.
Two in the morning I will unravel like a
ball of twine and I will want You with me,
I won’t want You to leave me, I want You
skin on skin, no space between, just
electricity, just inferno, just the blaze.
And in that all too brief moment, we
will both understand.
This is what eternity feels like.
This is what eternity feels like.
This is what eternity feels like.

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