Tanvi Kusum

Dear Sylvia,

I am not very good at letters as I have not written one ever in my life, except those which were forced upon me in English class. Even those though were very to the point and businesslike, even the informal ones!

Recently I read the letters of my father to my mother, my cousin’s to my father, and my father’s friend to him. I find them sometimes, in some forgotten drawers. What struck me in them was how they talked about their life and what they were doing with such clarity. My father’s friend was in USA at the time and studying Civil Engineering, he described all the buildings and what he saw and how their engineering differed from India’s. In this era of texting, we speak in short sentences, we know too much but also too little. It is so instant that a person doesn’t really get to say what he wants to, there’s too much of sending each other links than real talking. Letters are great because you get to fill this page with all you want to say, written letters are obviously better. I wonder if I have forgotten to write. If you’re interested in letters, there are there beautiful ones which Vladimir Nabokov sent to his wife, Vera. Though when it came out in public she was so ashamed (maybe that is a wrong word) that she burned all the letters from her to him. It was too private, she said.

While I am writing this I have a huge bowl of dal makhni which I think I’ll finish up in no time, though I am trying to stay away from it. I also have an exam tomorrow, but that is fine because I have already gotten in a better institute. I wonder what makes it better, I think I’ll go with the one which has more tennis courts. I hope all colleges have a different number of tennis courts to make my decision easier. Other than that, nothing much is going on in my life. It is also quite weird because I am still not ‘bored’ of it. I am in my house the whole day, doing unimportant things and yet I don’t feel the urge to go out and see my friends or do something. I am really confused as to what this something is. Though I do enjoy when I do go out, but I don’t miss it when I don’t. Maybe it is because I hadn’t really enjoyed, or that I am just lazy.

There was also this very important exam I had to do well in which I didn’t do. Wait I am new at writing letters so I haven’t really told you what exam yet. I was preparing for law this year so I am talking about those entrances. I did well in all the side exams, but not very well in the main one, which was CLAT. I don’t know what happened that day, I was very confused, in a trance, if you can call it that. Maybe I was over-confident or under-confident. One never knows, the difference between them is so miniscule. I also got this Pulitzer prize winning idea in my head for a story just before bed and I was too lazy to write it down. Obviously I forgot all about it. I forget almost ninety percent of my ideas, it is very dismal. But that is also because I am always thinking and I always get to some points which are writable so it is tough since I can’t write everything down. Someone must invent a brain recorder or something soon, since I also get very hilarious and unrealistic dreams which I’d love to watch again.

Anyway, it is the most annoying thing on the planet to lose an idea which you really liked. After losing one I find myself rummaging through my mind like it is filled with drawers. It is like finding a small handkerchief in a huge mess, sometimes you remember only a word of the idea and you get the whole of it back. That tiny little white corner saves your life. But most of the time god punishes you for being lazy and expects you to get a pen and paper.

That is all for now, I must go to sleep if I want to take tomorrow’s test. Looking forward to hearing from you soon.